Tuesday, April 08, 2014


Before I took my retirement I had thought life was going to be simpler for  me. Time to enjoy my life. I wanted to do the things I want to do. I wanted to travel, I wanted to inhale the air of freedom and I wanted to teach children, I wanted to write books, I wanted to finish my dissertation, I wanted to cook for I love cooking. I wanted to take care of my son and mom. There are so many wants.
After my retirement, I cooked , I lecture and teach, I work on my dissertation, I travel, but I miss one thing, the air of freedom! The things that previously imagined were part of my freedom, has now turned into obligation. Another job if I may say.
Cooking which was my passion has begun to  strangle me. There was a time when I received orders beyond these two hands can  cope. I felt like it was the end  of my day. From that time, I told everyone that we would not take too much orders. Just enough so that we can manage it.
I am in charge of a project, teacher preparation for the new semester. It's a three month project. Knowing that these hands of mine were full, I invited friends to join. Working in a group has never been easy. Especially when I have to conduct the project. So, I ended up attending the project almost everyday to control the quality. Seven different people, each with their own style  of teaching, will definitely impact the result of the project. We'll see the end result in June 13, 2014. Are they really progressing ?
My desire to lecture has brought me back to my campus. I started teaching right after I retired. Beautiful isn't it! yes to some extent. But material preparation consumed so much of my time. They are graduate students so better be ready for any possibilities. So far, I can managed it well, but could have been better if I only focus on this area.
My dream of having my school has also brought me to a chaotic situation. Setting up a new school, curriculum, furniture, teacher, place, teaching material are all the piled of work that need to be done. Along the course  of time, I tried to get some help. So far, I have to do  things myself. Lucky enough, the nature conspires with all good intentions. I received lots of helps from people around me. So far, I have found a spot to start my school, I had done the first and second level of my curriculum, I have developed some teaching materials and have found a teacher. I am almost done with the furniture.
Hopefully it gets done  on time for the  opening, which is going to be in September.
My dissertation, this is an area of which I'm very weak at. It's hard for me to focus. Every time I try to focus, new problems pop up. Well... I have to...I'm half way through, there is no point of return. I have to ...I have to... I have to...., I told  myself. But saying does not mean finishing. So sit down and focus!!!!!
Travelling.... gosh...my plan to travel with my eldest has vanished into the thin air. We were supposed to travel in April. But I got caught up in  the middle of work. I still managed to handle my promise  to my second daughter that I would visit her. Here I am, writing down this piece in my daughter's bed room in Australia. I stayed here only for a week, for I have to take care of my project, my school, my lectures and my family. I have planned to travel with my family  in June.  Hopefully it works well.
My mom and my son were the two most understandable people on  earth. Thank you  for having you both, you both have tons of patience. I have to admit that I do not spend much of my quality time with them, and I only spare some  of  my time with them. The true fact is, they take care of me rather than the other  way round. Forgive  me God.... will do  my best.
Now... what do you want lady? If you  can not decide your mind, time will decide for you!! 

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