Wednesday, May 21, 2014


My name is Luciana. She mentioned her name boldly. A typical girl of 24 years stood next to me in front of the mirror. We both have just finished swimming. I watched her image closely in the mirror. Her short hair was still wet and she dried them up with a towel. Then she smiled at me and asked me : "Do you swim everyday?
"No, I swim every other day.  Actually I’m a diabetic patient, so I need to do sport to tone down my glucose level," I must have said them out of self pity.
"Ooh  my dad is also a diabetic patient. My dad, my mom and I swim everyday. I’m proud of my dad.  Once his glucose level had reached more than 500 but still he managed to drive home with his motor cycle."
I did not say a word out of shock. Then I diverted the conversation to get away from shame: “Do you work?”
She said: "Yes, but I quit because I want to take my postgraduate degree."
"So, here you are accompanying your  dad swimming. That’s nice!"
She smiled and stopped drying her hair. She looked at me deeply and said: "He accompanied my mother actually. My mom suffered from Leukemia." 
This time I was even more shocked. Out of my shock and confusion I said: "You are the nicest girl  for you take care of them."
She stood there staring at me. "We take care of each other.   I suffer from leaking heart valve."
This morning I saw her again in the swimming pool. I saw her taking care of an old thin lady and a grey haired man. They have been a point of my observation before. I had been wondering what are they trying to achieve, learning how to swim at old age.
This morning she did not recognize me, for our conversation was just a fleeting moment. A moment that Luciana have to go through, just like the rest of the other moments. But for me, the moment that has alerted me from my dream of self  pity. Thank you Luciana, you add another dimension into my life.

Sunday, May 18, 2014


If the sun can ease the  pain, I will burn myself with the rays
If the tears can subside the angst, I will make the ocean overflow
If silence can dampen the chaotic battle inside of me, I will keep both ears closed
Unfortunately the sun is there to light up the day
and keep us alive everyday
There is no promise of light without darkness
Regretably, tears can ease the angst for a while, it is still sticks there until time shunt it sideways
Tears have never been meant to exist without laugters.
Sadly silence can only deafen my ears, while the battle is there to continue. Being deaf does not mean  that the world stop evolving around the sun.
Maybe I focus too much on the pain, the angst and the chaotic battle. And maybe I focus too much on myself. And maybe I forget to answer the question of life: Have you counted your blessings?

Monday, May 05, 2014



This is to announce that a heart was found desserted on the street yesterday. It is in a  good condition although a bit crumppled.  When we found the heart it was battered and showed an indication of minor bleeding.  It has been taken care of and is in a better condition now.
The owner of  the heart please contact the address  below. You dont have to bring any document to proof that the heart is yours.

Lost and Found Department
contact: God @

Thursday, May 01, 2014


Good morning! It is a beautiful morning. The sun is peeping beautifully among the clowds. The birds are chirping and the plants and trees are nodding their head to greet me. How many mornings do I still have Lord?
I swallow the magnificent air as my ears capture the sound of wind chimes rattling incessantly in the air. The windchimes that connect me to my deceased sister. My sister's face is suddenly here, with me. She was laying on her death bed while I was beside her. The pain was so unbearable and she did not do anything but cry. Once in a while she made a hissing sound to let me know that she was in so much pain.
I did not know what to do. Panic was striking me at that time. But I kept on reminding myself, she needs you! I held her hand in mine and began to pray. I asked, cried and shouted silently to God to help her, to ease her pain. I did not ask God to save her for I know God had His own plan. God was saving her from another more severe  pain. We felt asleep that  night, holding hands and counting the nights in our dream. How long will this  last Lord?
The following morning as the sun appeared on  the window we both woke up battered. She was so weak, but the spirit to fight was there, alive. She posed me a question:Why did He give me such a limited time? I'm only in  my midfifties. I still have dreams to pursue? I did not know what to say. I was not ready for such conversation. I hesitated for a while before I said: "You are always lucky compared to me. You know and can  predict what's going to happen to you. The doctor said, you had only two years to go, but I could go anytime, even before you." You still have time  to plan ahead. But I probably not because it could arrive anytime.
My sister died. Similar mornings are still around, occuring in different time and spaces. And this  morning I asked the same question to myself: How  many days are left for me?