MOVIE REVIEW: THE CENTURION GATE
RATING: R for violence and language

Starring the notorious Rogue, bozo, clowns.

Post election, a moment which is normally cramped with consolidations, worked the reverse way in the land of opportunists, called Indamnesia. An evil genius, Rogue, seeks to conquer the ruling party in Indamnesia ; he is assisted by a bunch of thugs and an army clowns.

There were two types of Clowns: Big Nosey Clowns, the most commonly seen clowns, are walking funny robots with laser blasters for arms, while the Respectful clowns are specialized indisguised backstabber armed with invisible missiles and lasers. They are joined on many occasions except when the steel yard that measures power indicates a reverse position than the previous. At such time, the Respectful Clowns, wearing armany clad, appeared as the wise to backstab for the benefit of any enemies that would share their power with them. Whoever win, the respectful clowns win, be it the Rogue or the ruling party.

Unlike all the well directed scenes and the well crafted cinematography that depict the battle, the movie was dominated by physical conflicts and obscene language. In an interview the extreme wealth Bozo, who intelectually directed this movie, admitted that such fact and claimed that such is very common in order to bring up the main theme of the movie which is "Extreme Power". He also claimed that his movie has gone beyond the ordinary soap operas and deserves to be reffered as a breakthrough in the movie industry. The fact that it is rated as R for violence and language, doesn't change the reality that this movie is nominated for an award in the forthcoming rat carpet event.

BEHIND NUMBERS

One of the assignment that I have to deal with next week is presenting the economic dimension of globalization. It is assigned to me about a month ago, but I find it extremely difficult since economy sounds Greek to me. Another thing, I dont like numbers, in fact I hate numbers and I begin to stronly believe that the more you hate something or somebody, the more you have to deal with it.

The article, written by Paul Bairoch, is full of numbers. It's a historical trajectories and he analyzes a series of data on international trade to see the long term impact of them. I am quite lucky that two friends of mine happen to major in economy and expert in the area of finance. So they explain the economy theory on international trade as a background for me to read the article.

Bairoch notices the increase of GDP commencing as of pre world war 1 up to the 1996. However those number represent the economy of the developed countries, which represent only 15% of the total population. 85% of them are obliterated from the discussion of growth. Aside from the noted increase that has been recorded by the developed countries, they have entered a negative phase of the economic, especially social plains. Bairoch mentioned 6 characteristics of which I quoted only three major ones: a growing inequality in the distribution of revenue, greater employment instability, a more negative evolution in unskilled labor conditions; lower salaries and loss of jobs.

The numbers have succeeded in creating the myth of growth, whereas behind them there are reality that goes to the opposite direction. In the end, I have every reason to dislike numbers though the more I dislike it the more they stick with me. One last request, Wish me luck with my presentation, that's all I need for the time being !!!

I OWE YOU

I feel like I have been ran over by a truck. It's not the title of a song, but this is the soreness that's been biting my bones and muscles after going back to sport. I didn't respond positively to the invitation to join the volley ball team in my office. It's not after a couple of times of invitation until I said yes. I felt a little bit awkward in the beginning since I haven't been playing volley ball for ages. The last time was more than 10 years ago.

After the first training program I could hardly drive myself home. I was so worn out and felt numb all over my feet. The second training was no better than the first. The disturbed sleep was accompanied by a severe headache. I don't know if I would continue to be part of the team. One thing I know for sure, it brings me back the memory of the past. The time when sport open up my horizon to this world.

I used to be one of the National Volley Ball player. I did not belong to the celebrities of the national volley ball team of my time for I was only part of the team from 1983 to 1985. I started very young, but quit 4 years later to focus on my studies. I came back again right after I had finished my studies and was invited to join the national team. Two years afterward I decided to get married and quit. It was not a very dazzling career in sport but I realized the consequences of my choice.

Despite of the short tenure of my career in sport, I should have admitted that I gained more than the efforts that I spent in sport. I learn about collaborating with others and do my best to achieve our shared vision. I know what it meant to spend my last drop of sweat for the sake of reaching our dream. In short, I owe my present life to sport!!!

WELCOME A NEW DAY!

The hustle and bustle of the traffic in a big city is the typical flavour of living in Jakarta. Traffic congestion is something that everybody has to deal with, especially during the rush hour. All the streets are all bogged down by the amount of traffic. The more people get used to it, the more impatient they became. As a consequence they wake up in the morning, with heads stuffed with expectation to deal with the traffic congestion. They dashed off to work as to be able to avoid the traffic.

The expectation then turns into reality. As people drive, they are then sucked up by the congestion and got burried in the graveyard of the traffic. In next to no time, they will get irritated and spit out curses if not four letter words. Car drivers blame the motorbikers, and so do the opposite. Pedestrians are not considered liable to use the street. If cursing is considered as a crime, then the statistic for crime in the traffic will probably recorded the highest rate.

I am no better than the rest of the people when it deals with traffic. With my negative expectation in my head, I get easlly irritated by the traffic. And, yes... I spit out curses. It has turned into such a habit that it has never come across my mind that I'm no better than those people that annoyed me. There were times that I tried to control myself but the intention almost immediately dispersed into the thin air.

This morning I tuned into a radio station, broadcasting the topic on happiness. "Happiness is about how you control yourself to see things. Happiness is not about the things itself, but happiness is about you. To speak the language of the common, happiness is not about the money that you put into the stockmarket, or about your fancy cars. Happiness is about how you perceive things around you. So YOU are the creator of happiness."

I sat silently behind the steering wheel. The words penetrated deep into my mind. It's not the traffic that irritates me, but it is how I perceive the traffic that irritates me. If I choose to cool off and not to follow the negative expectation that dwells in my head, things would probably end up far beyond getting irritated and depressed. I miss the YOU in me, my freedom to become myself.

REFLECTION

The news that my uncle died in Cirebon has brought my husband away for the entire week end. He represented the entire family and went to Cirebon with my brother in law and my uncle. Two of my children went to watch Java Jazz, commencing as of Friday to Sunday. So I was home with my son during the entire week end.

Saturday morning, I took my son for a short drive and went to the ATM to solve some unsettled bills. Then we drove through the neighbourhood and had a mother-to-son talk. The house felt empty. I tried to read some articles, but after an hour of two, I got bored and decided to do something else.

I laid down quietly in my bed. My mind was wandering in the wilderness of my thoughts. One scene after another came into my view, be it the past or the castle in the sky. I assembled the circle of causalities, one into another until my mind was focused on one issue: have I been a good person?

I felt like broken beats toyed by the wind. Whirling and twirling in the sky aimlessly. I tried to find what's lacking in me. It's I, I and I concealed behind the me...me...and me... . The world is evolved around me. I had been very occupied with myself until I forget the facts that the world is so full of others. Those others are reflection of my relationship with God. As I ingore the others, then I ignore God. My relations to God is a mechanistic relationship, a habitus. I go to church and pray because that's how I had been brought up by my mom.

"Dear Lord, forgive me! Dear others, I want to be part of you!"

ANOTHER BATTLE TO TAME

The room was filled with the cold freezing artifical air. All the desks and chairs were empty, except four at the front row. One lady and 3 gentlemen, looking firm and powerful occupied those desks and chairs. They gave me a stern look which made me shivered a little bit. I told myself that this is my floor, ready or not.

I took my books and papers out and put them in orderly manner on the desk. I straightened my throat to keep my articulation clear and sonorous. "I focus my research on the human side of Learning Organization. Human being...." I heard my own voice echoing in the empty room. I didnt really remember what I told them, all I wanted to do at that time was making things clear to them and got over it as soon as I can. I followed exactly the line of thoughts that I had prepared at home. The 15 minutes was soon over and I was sweating as opposed to the cold air that stinge my pores.

Those faces in front of me were expresionless. They purposely let silence fall in between us, and I swear that those moments were torturing me like death. Then the lady took over the situation. She opened up her sweet lips and shoot me with her questions. It was not just one question, but a couple of questions. I took a deep breath as to be able to overcome the pressure that she gave me with her questions. I reassembled my thoughts and began to answer her. One after another, we both jumped into a serious discussion until she finally looked reassured.

The next examiner added some more pressure as he threw some more questions. He was definitely showing his mastery over my proposal as he left me with two unaswered questions. But that was my battle, so I had to make sure that I could balance his questions. The following examiner took me even further to the unknown strange land. He posed questions I didnt and never thought that he would ask. Foucault, he wanted me to include Foucault in my research. That name I know, but what I know is just a name. I was totally numb when he was pushing me to adopt foucauldian concept. How could I say yes or no when I didnt know foucault. I took an in between position and nodded my head without saying a word.

The final examiner was my promotor. He knew that I had been out of breath. He wrapped up all the concerns and added one light question before he finally concluded the examination. I didnt care about the result at that time, for the only important thing for me was to get over it. They sat again in silence before they asked me to wait outside.

I sat on the stairs outside, sweating all over. Thousands of fears were chirping around my head. I was only waiting for 5 minutes, but I felt like ages. My promotor opened the door. I was startled and stood. He threw a glance and invited me to get inside the room. The four of them gave me a deep look. I looked at each of them, expecting to read a sign of hope. But they were again blank. My promotor stood and walked to my desk. He stopped for a second and said: "Congratulation, you are now a doctorate candidate. You need to make corrections on your proposal and submitted to me within a two-week-time."

All of a sudden, the cold air turned warm. So were their faces as they smiled and shook my hands. I went outside the class and screamed. My friends who were waiting at the end of the stairs laughed in delight. The joy was so empowering that I felt like I owned the thousands of stars in the sky. For a moment it was a relief. When I say for a moment I really mean it for I realize that I still have another battle to be tamed.

THE PUPPET SHOW

Yesterday I attended an official ceremony. The giant cubicle launched the learning centre. The CEO was there with 2 other member of the board and many other CEOs and directors. The ceremony itself ran like many other ceremonies, full with speeches.

The opening part in every speech is probably the longest and yet the less meaningful part of the speech. Every honorable guests have to be mentioned prior to the longest greetings that followed. I specifically timed it and it took one minute all together. Then came the main content. The content as always mentioned all the prestigious achievements of the institution. In simple language, this is how it sounds, we have done this, we have done that, and this is one among the few, and then followed by big applauses from the audience. In a glimpse, one get the impression that this is wouw....!!! However if you digest it slowly and dig it deeper, it's nothing but a series of number which later on will turn into ashes.

Then came the final part of the speech. It mostly comprises thankful expressions to those contributes to the program. And of course the name of the CEO and the member of the boards have to be there. The little guy who has done his utmost and contributed to most of it, is as always forgotten. He stood there smiling in the corner of the room, happy to see his product being adopted by the big people.

After the closing ceremony, then came the time when everybody went to their car. A light chit and chat went along the way. The CEO stopped for a while and gave a comment on a tree. Everyone directed their attention to the spot and gave similar comment. They all laugh together.

The CEO went into his car and off he went. The remaining of people took a deep breath and gave a long sigh of relief, gulping for the air of freedom.

WHEN THE DEVIL SPEAKS THE TRUTH

My words are mostly sharp. Yes I admit it! But you have to admit that my actions are very soft. I dont walk the talk. I just need to express my emotion. You may argue that being an adult I shouldnt have done it. Yes, again you are right. By hook or by crook, I am just an ordinary being of flesh and blood. I am familiar with the words, exhausted, sick and pain, and bored. I need new fresh air to breathe, and most of all I need a shoulder to cry on.

I am not like other parents. I dont even know if I am being good parents or not! I just try to be one. I cant be nearby all of you at the time that you need me most. I try to compensate though.... but I do understand that compensation is not always interpreted as 'compensation' in the way I mean it to be or you expect it to be.

I might not be the other part of him. Hell, I am not. If other try to find another shoulder to cry on, I only seek for another time and space to cry on. I dont prepare his coffe and sit next to him to watch a television program. I sit in my own isolation with my books and thoughts.

I am not a good daughter. Forgive me, Mama. I dont treasure you the way others treasure their parents. I get trapped in my own illusionary world. I sat on my own and become indolent. I know I'm gonna regret it should any bad things occur to you.

I am not a good sister. I focus on my own family and leave out my attention for my sister. I'm just affraid if I get too close then I would be drifted away by her problems. She is always in trouble. When I say always, I really mean it. It's not about luck, it is simply about atittude.

I am being nice to myself. Only!!!

When the devil speaks the truth, do you believe it???

ORA et LABORA

I was flying rather than driving to campus yesterday. The last minute call to join a meeting had turned my schedule upside down. I had made an appointment with one of my co-promotor after office hours at 17.00. My supervisor suddenly called me and asked me to sit in a meeting to discuss our project. I was like sitting on a stove, wanting to contribute but at the same time had to dash off for my personal appointment.

It's not an ordinary day! On the 4th of March I will be defending my proposal for my postgraduate studies. Yesterday I had an appointment to discuss how the examination would be held. I was so late for the meeting ended at exactly 17.00. I texted my co-promotor and told her that I would be late. Lucky me that she responded nicely, but deep down I know that I would miss lots of my opportunity to discuss with her. And yes.... we only discuss the technical details of the examination and missed the opportunity to dig down the possible issues further. I told myself that I had to compensate the missing opportunity at nite.

I had ample slept last nite. I tried to concentrate and read the main literature that would support me on the 4th. However, I got so disorganized until it turned out to be an array of incomplete puzzles. Pheww... I drowned myself deeper.

When I dont know whatelse to do, the only thing that cross my mind is asking for God's intervention to assist me, though deep down inside I know that it's 'Ora et Labora'. Dear Lord... please help me to get over it, be it the sun or the moon, black or white, darkness or light.

I then tried to sleep, but woke up again, and decided to pray again. This time.....:"Dear Lord, forgive me, can I have the sun instead of the moon, and white instead of black, and the light instead of darkness??? Pleaseeeeeee...............????

I SEE MY FUTURE IN ME

The seminar was finally conducted and, yes, we managed to do it well. It is hard to imagine all the hustle and bustle that we had to go through, in preparation for the seminar. I was in charge of developing the term of reference and dealing with the presenters. It is easy for me to find the presenters, however, it is not easy to turn their tacit knowledge into explicit in the shape and string of thoughts that I want it to happen.

As from my personal opinion, I still find some areas that can be improved. The speakers and the Term of Reference should have been better alligned. (I was pointing my finger to myself). I could have made a more detailed Term of References and requested the speakers to submit their presentation material a week prior to the event. As such, I would be able to control the messages conveyed to the audience. So one improvement can hit two birds.

As for the place and event organization, we could have ended up in a more effiecient manner should we be able to make faster and smoother decisions and deal with all the vendors earlier. We were rushing at the last minute, lost our bargaining position and had to play along with any terms and conditions that had been offered to us.

I see the ray of hope rising in my horizon, I see the opportunity for me to do my own action. In the future I can run my own seminars, training and research. Whatever I am currently up to is nothing but fields of exercises to prepare my readiness. The future here I come...ready or not... I have to stand on my own feet.

A FAMILY DAY OUT

This calender year has granted us a 3 day off, commencing as of Friday to Sunday. So we decided to spend it in Bandung. We left early in the morning and went back in the afternoon. The kids always love to go to Bandung. The food is good and the city itself provides us with a different ambiance.

THE GARDEN OF MY WILD DREAMS



In the backyard of my house, I built the garden of my wild dreams.

ONE DAY WE'LL ALL FLY AWAY

My sister died at the age of 53 right in the beginning of the year of 2010. She had been suffering from cancer for exactly 2 years. The doctor had told her in January 2008 that she had only another 2 years to live. That was precisely predicted.
I had been very close to her. We grew up together and shared so many sisterhood stories. She loves me in fact she loves everybody, but I know, me and mom had occupied special spots in her life. I had been a stubborn spoiled kid and she had been a real sister to me. There were times when I put her in a-not-good-situation and she was mad at me only for one or two days... the rest she turned back into my loving sister.
She moved to the United States and Japan, but our sisterhood remained as close as ever. The time while she was there, she took care of all of us... one by one. I had spent countless holidays with her. During my one of my business trip to US, I spent two days in LA and so did she. At nite time, we both sat on the sofa and starred at the Disney fireworks while tracing the memory of our childhood. On the way home from another business trip to Germany. She came to Holland and we both stayed at my brother's place. It is too painful for me to remember her expression and my brother's statement. My brother said: "I cant hardly believe that the three of us are here." She said nothing but starred at me. That was the longest gaze I had ever received from her.
This morning while I was driving, her picture came again into my vision and I could not help it anymore. I called my mom and told her how much I miss my sister. My mom said:"I am 87 and I probably the one who is supposed to miss her more than anybodyelse. She is my daughter who came out of my womb. I breastfed her and raised her into a person I am so proud of. She is one of the best thing God has ever given to me. But at nite time I always pray, please Lord, dont let me regret the fact that she died for It's like regreting all the things that you had brought into my life. If there is a possiblity for me to deny just any of them, simply because it brings along with it an unhappy dimension, then there is also the possiblity that I might loose all the joyful parts and the delights that I had had in this life. I keep the unhappy parts for I know I had enjoyed more out of the happy parts.
One day we'll all fly away... no one can stop it to happen....and some other people would fill our positions... whimpering and weeping...yearning for us, our love, if we have shared some.

THE NEED TO BE UPDATED LIST

It's 2010. I havent been visiting this blog for more than a year. So many things have happened to my life. I would have said the one year that had passed was the moment of dellirium.
1. My other child has turned 17, and I promise to write something about them when they reach the age of 17. So my next posts would probably be around her and my little son.
2. My sister died right when the gate to the year of 2010 was opened. I felt as if a part of me have gone with her. She is my soul.... life after her is nothing but a sequence that I have to follow...
3. I try my best to get my phd...though I dont know if I could make it... If somebody ask me...why do I have to go through all these efforts... then my answer is.... I dont know...
4. My work and the gigantic cubicle is still a hot issue. This might be the most interesting part of my life... funny people and funny place...
5. My "love life" has turned sour... it's not that I dont love him anymore but the fact that time have turned us into strangers one from another can not be denied....
6. I dived to deep into the ocean of life and forget to emerge to get oxygen... as a consequence.. you simply can guess.... i'm out of breath.
Need to wrap up...for I have to race to the campus.... campuS...here I come....ready or not... face it.

LIFE IS ABOUT BEING HERE!

I havent been updating this blog for quite sometimes. The key word that occupies my mind is 'Amazing!!!'. What is so amazing? This life is indeed amazing. At this age, after so many years of having a chance to live, I have started to assemble the pieces of puzzle of my life. I'm not saying that I have gotten the answer to my existence, naaaa...it's far from getting the answer.

What I manage to get so far is the categorization of the pieces of realities that I have gone through. I began to analyze (oops..this word sounds a bit scientific) to see things with a better view about what happened to me in the past. I'm not saying that life is okay, but somehow I can take all the pain in a more 'decent' way.

One of the key issues that struck my mind is about death. This word has haunted me ever since my sister was told that she has at the most only two years to live. I felt as if I was also the one that's being punished by this reality. Coincidences happen. One after another. I got exposed (I didnt search but I really got exposed) to some articles on death during one of the philosophy classes that I attended. This class has taught me to not ask about death, but ask about life instead. Death is something that will happen to anybody at anytime. Time and space are the enigmas. My sister is one among the few that has the opportunity to open the veil of the enigma of 'time'. It happens for a purpose, to let her give some more reflections and and explore more about life, about her existence. Be open to death and life and let your existence reveal itself.

In one of my converation with her I mentioned about the fact that she's lucky to know the time. I dont. I could be one the who ' leave' earlier than her. We never know. The only thing that we know is the reality that we exist. That's what matters. The reality that we dont exist is not important anymore for that is the harvesting time which happens to be His part. Life is about being isnt it?

EXIT
I'm looking for a door that could lead me to the exit. But the door is either to small for me or it's unavailable. This cubicle is getting too hot and it has turned into a humid and depressing place for me.

Without having the attention to bring myself into a philosophical area, my internal dialogue has brought into my awareness of my existency. Why do I exist and what does I expect from this life? I end up myself with a conclusion that I live for several reasons. I live for myself and my surroundings. I live for the future of my children, they need me until they are ready to be on their own. I live for the present in which my husband love me and i love him, though we both love to enggage ourselves into tedious arguments. I guess that's the color of our love. I live because I love the past and often dive into the romantic memory of being a member of my big family, my mother, my sisters and brother as well as my cousins. As with my spiritual part of living I consider it as private so it doesnt belong to the public domain.

With that in mind I wonder if I could have them if I am still trapped in this hot and depressing cubicle. The money is definitely good, but the happiness is far from real. By the time I got home I'm dead tired and turned myself into a strange creature. Either I sat in front of the television or I checked and sent mails to friends. Week ends are the best time for I stay on my leisure. I focus on myself , neglecting those people that I love. I turn into an alien!!!

After having been working for the cubicle I began to think of finding my happiness, do the things that I always want to do. I still have to find the exit. My friends reminded me, what's waiting for me outside the cubicle is in fact a bigger issue that I need to consider. As for me, what's waiting is happiness and I know happiness is not free so I have to bear the consequence. I can do anything when I'm happy. It is proven!!!

HOW BIG IS THE BRAIN?

I work in one of the biggest institution. The building is probably one of the largest and the most exquisite one. No matter how costly and prestigious the buildings are, they can not hide the fact that there is a bunch of narrow minded people that work inside there. Narrow minded in this case refers to the disability to take pluralism as a natural phenomena.
These NM (read: narrow minded or no mind) consider the entire member of the organization as a mass production. Whoever bears a different attribute is considered as a rejected item. Their brain work like a quality control scanner that could only accomodate a set of indicators. Whatever goes beyond the indicators are considered as erroneous and should be isolated if not dump.
The set indicators inhibit them to learn from the nature that provide such an abudance to the well being of mankind, to look into the mirror and learn from our own body that all the different parts of our body has their own functions. All these different parts, when they cooperate and collaborate they create an incredible and miraculous ability to man.
It is so unfortunate that these people are equipped with quite an enormous power. They regularly scan the entire organization and shunt the "rejected product" sideways. They provide a hidden reward for those who are willing to reshape themselves according to the set indicators.
The space in their brain could only house primodialism and ways to shunt people sideways. How could the organization achieved the goals when the performance is relies on a part of the body???

PAK UCUP, THE BARBER

The barber is located on the side of a small dusty street, next to a small passageway beside a tiny warung tegal. It’s a nine square meters room, divided into two by a not too clean wooden board. The room is cramped with a television set placed on the table next to the two big mirrors attached to the wall. Two chairs with leather-like covered are placed in front of the mirrors, and a far from comfortable bamboo sofa is positioned behind those chairs. The price list is glued on the rusty wall between the two mirrors: Dewasa = Rp. 6000,-, Anak = Rp. 5000,- Jenggot = Rp. 2000,-.

Despite the disturbing odor that strikes your nostrils and the hissing sound of the television set that hit your eardrums, clients from neigbouring areas drop in to this place. They must be his longlasting clients for they use the silent language to communicate. He nods his head every time he notices the arrival of his clients and the clients sit on the wooden sofa patiently waiting for their turn to arrive.

After my second visit I noticed that his name is "Ucup". He’s a quiet man in his thirties , a simple looking guy, far from being invaded by the modern culture. I dont know if he had ever dreamed of becoming a barber . It seems to me that being a barber is not just the way he earns his living, but it seems like it's part of his destiny. He scrutinized every single inch of the clients hair just to make sure that they are properly cut. He checked it from a distance, and trimmed the unwanted parts. A glaze in his eyes will give us a sign that he's almost done. A few seconds to admire his work will end the whole proces and he will then continue with the next client.

One day while he was cutting my son’s hair, I tried to fill the gap of silence and asked him a couple of question. Then I arrived to the average number of his clients. To my amazement Pak Ucup humbly explained that his clients reach up to the average of 50 people a day. My head worked like a digital calculator and my brain almost jumped out of my skull when I realized that he earns more than a university graduate employee. I mentioned the number just to make sure that it was the right number. He shyly nodded his head and smiled cordially demonstrating his two big brown teeth.

LIFE IS SIMPLE (to some people)

One of the basic nature calls has been buried in the shadowy darkness of reality for so long under the name of values. In the world of etymology, the word “Toilet” is one of the most vivid examples.. The dictionary of etymology has recorded so many words to express toilet, such as John, Lavatory, Privy, Loo, Throne, Privy, Can, Rest Room and many, many others. This concept has undergone so many semantic changes. Once the unwritten social consensus has recorded deterioration or a change in the semantic value of a word, the word will be classified as taboo and a new word will emerge.
In the grotesque houses in Pondok Indah, the word “toilet” refers to rooms which occupy areas as large as my house and are equipped with luxury and comfort such as carpet, paintings, air condition etc. On the opposite side, for the street children, the word toilet refers to any gutter available on the street such as the gutter that runs underneath the pedestrian path.
Last Sunday drive has added another picture of reality, far beyond those images which have been crushed into our mind through the television or newspaper. As the traffic turns green, the crowd of cars stopped in front of the traffic. A little boy of six, half naked from middle to bottom, ran across the street and jumped onto the pavement. He installed himself comfortably above a gap between the pavement blocks. His back is facing the solemn Sunday traffic of Jakarta, ignoring or being ignorance of the fact that almost every person in the cars were watching his gestures. He rested his fingers on the wall and used the gap as his private toilet to respond to the nature call. I assume most of the passengers would move on to the next question: how is he going to clean his behind. ?
As soon as he had finished it, he moved to the big pot with plants in it. He sat on the curb of the pot covered by the left over rain drops and shook his Behind around to clean it up. To make sure that he was clean enough, he touched his behind with his fingers. As many other ordinary kids would do, he jumped into the middle of the street and ran happily among the cars. Again like many other ordinary kids of his age would do, he put his fingers into his mouth when he got tensed or depressed.
Life is complicated to some whereas it is simple and natural for the street children. It is as simple and as natural as the first snow in winter or the morning dew in spring or the color of leaves in autumn.

GROWING UP
Growing up is the biggest unidentified mystery of life ever. It’s there yet it’s not there. Not until you are exposed to a particular uncomfortable situation will you then realize that things have changed and the person in front of you is not the same person anymore.
Driving home is one of the particular magical moments that makes me realize that life is not the same anymore.
Mom : "Oo no....not again, it's coming again?" (I pointed to the headlines of a newspaper shoved into our window on a traffic light) "The flood is the same problem every year!"
Girl : “If the Government knows that it’s gonna happen, why didn’t they take any measures now to avoid it? If it is caused by all the garbage that has been thrown to the river, make sure everybody give a hand to clean it.”
Mom : “It not as easy as it sounds. It has got to do with people’s behavior. No matter how much effort you spend on cleaning it up, some other will again dump their garbage into the river.”
Girl : “Why don’t the Government provide the troops of police to be on guard of the river?”
Mom : “They are not meant to do that particular job. They have other important thing to do such as keeping the country secure.”
Girl : “It also concerns national security. Imagine what’s going to happen if the capital city is inundated.”
Mom : “It’s not as simple as that ” (Silence filled the air inside the car).
Girl : “Adults are really complicated!!!”
Mom : (Is she still my baby??)