Friday, February 19, 2010


My sister died at the age of 53 right in the beginning of the year of 2010. She had been suffering from cancer for exactly 2 years. The doctor had told her in January 2008 that she had only another 2 years to live. That was precisely predicted.
I had been very close to her. We grew up together and shared so many sisterhood stories. She loves me in fact she loves everybody, but I know, me and mom had occupied special spots in her life. I had been a stubborn spoiled kid and she had been a real sister to me. There were times when I put her in a-not-good-situation and she was mad at me only for one or two days... the rest she turned back into my loving sister.
She moved to the United States and Japan, but our sisterhood remained as close as ever. The time while she was there, she took care of all of us... one by one. I had spent countless holidays with her. During my one of my business trip to US, I spent two days in LA and so did she. At nite time, we both sat on the sofa and starred at the Disney fireworks while tracing the memory of our childhood. On the way home from another business trip to Germany. She came to Holland and we both stayed at my brother's place. It is too painful for me to remember her expression and my brother's statement. My brother said: "I cant hardly believe that the three of us are here." She said nothing but starred at me. That was the longest gaze I had ever received from her.
This morning while I was driving, her picture came again into my vision and I could not help it anymore. I called my mom and told her how much I miss my sister. My mom said:"I am 87 and I probably the one who is supposed to miss her more than anybodyelse. She is my daughter who came out of my womb. I breastfed her and raised her into a person I am so proud of. She is one of the best thing God has ever given to me. But at nite time I always pray, please Lord, dont let me regret the fact that she died for It's like regreting all the things that you had brought into my life. If there is a possiblity for me to deny just any of them, simply because it brings along with it an unhappy dimension, then there is also the possiblity that I might loose all the joyful parts and the delights that I had had in this life. I keep the unhappy parts for I know I had enjoyed more out of the happy parts.
One day we'll all fly away... no one can stop it to happen....and some other people would fill our positions... whimpering and weeping...yearning for us, our love, if we have shared some.

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