Monday, July 19, 2010

SAD AND HAPPY

My application to be part of an internasional organization has not received any responses yet. I sense that they have refused to hire me because of my age and my background that doesnt fit the demanded competencies. Anyway, this is what life is all about, sometimes you win and some other time you loose.
I presented some materials on change in a local company yesterday. They gave me quite an enormous amount of financial reward. An amount that went beyond my prices all this time. Im happy not because of the money, but simply because I feel that I exist.
I talked to a friend who managed to pass the entry test for the vacancy in the international organization. Deep down in my heart I'm happy for her. Life has been not really that good for her and I think she deserves to get that position. It will serve as an eye opener how my organization has been neglecting their best employees, simply because they couldnt catch up with the way those progressive people think.
I only have my dissertation to work on. Im going to focus on it. And I have my family to take care of, yes financially I have to take care of them. Sometimes I feel it's unfair... because none of them have ever...ever given me just a little bit of attention, be it on my birthday or during christmast time. I have never found a small gift from my family me on christmast time. Sometimes I believe that they just want to make a surprise for me... so I probably would get it by tomorrow ...and I waited...tomorrow...the day after tomorrow and on the third day..I stop hoping that I will get something from them and I cut off my illusionary dream.
Hah..happy and sad, they are part of me...and they are part of everybody... im happy and im sad...

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