HOW LONG?

I have a new laptop. My children bought them for me. I am so so proud of them. It's not the laptop that matters, but the fact that they begin to shunt  the me within sideways and begin to share with others.  Having a new laptop I had to move my files from my old laptop to the new one. I bumped into so many memories. Two of which are the most moving  ones to me were the memories of my sister and my mother. 

When I was a teenage, I could hardly imagine that I could live without my sister and my mom. The closest and loving persons they are that brought me to a comfort zone. I shared my problems with them, sometimes I put my problems in their shoulders for I know they will take care of it. 

As I grow up and had my own life, things had never stopped nor changed. My sister lives overseas. We talked once a week, almost every end of a week. We made joke and we shared our problems. The tie that bond us was even stronger than before. The picture of our vacation was in my old laptop. I transferred them one by one while my mind was exploring the past. The story that we shared reveals how you always find our home as a home. You wanted me to talk about the stupid things we did when we were teens. I noticed the happy look in your eyes flashing as I brought the old memory back. You must have missed your home so much sister and that made me feel sad. The life that you chose could not replace the concept of home. You came back home every week end. 

My mother lived with me within the last 7 years of her life. She died in April 2017 and that was the second blow to me. All the pains that she had to go through to make us lead our own life was beyond words. A single mother, with four kids was not an easy homework for her. She could put herself as one of the most loved person to the entire extended family. I know her life was a bit empty once she got old, but the love has never ceased to exist. Even in her state of dementia, she had never forgotten to share her love. I found her picture, she was praying. I took that picture. God must love her so much for she had always lived with Him. 

Two of my children are grown up. They have their own jobs.  I might not be the best mother to my three children, but I know they love me and I love them.   I love them the way my mother and my sister had taught me about love. My son is only 13. I ask God to give me some more time to raise my son, to bring him to a stage where he becomes his own person, leading his own life. It is going to be His time, not my time. How long?