SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY

 

Learning to fly is a process. A bird can never learn to fly in a day. The bird is not the only reason that can make it fly. There are many other reasons to consider. The techniques of flapping their wings, the wind that helps them to take off and  land and   the parents that keeps their eyes on them and motivate them throughout the process. 

God has granted me two beautiful wings. Along my ways I learn how to use them both. Technically I manage to survive. I spread my wings and fly. I am so proud of my achievements, of all the processes that I managed to tame. But life is not just about conquering the process. There are many unseen battles that need to be tamed. Those battles are not written in any books that claims to be the book of knowledge. I only know one thing, I have to sit quietly and put the battle on my lap, learn to accept it, and carry it on my shoulders. 

BROTHER

We received two other sad news a couple of days ago...right before Christmas. I texted my brother right away, informing him the sad news. He did not respond. I tried to believe that he had not read my message, although I knew he did. After a couple of days, I tried to call him...he did not pick it up. I tried again...and again...still nobody responded to my calls. I felt so sad, because there were only the two of us left. Yet, I had to appreciate his choice for not communicating with me...for no reason. 

I remember a couple of years ago. When our mom was sick. I wanted him to call mom. He did not do it. Mom had been sick for almost a year. She lost her weight until she turned as skinny as a beanpole. He did not care. I wonder if he remembers what my mom had done for him and turned him into what he is today. 

I pushed him to call mom on her last moments. He finally talked to mom. It did not take long for mom to take her last breath.

Those moments came across my mind like movie scenes. They brought my sanity back and I told myself, if he could do it to ma, he would do it to me. So take it...do not try to understand, just carry it. 

If you have a chance to read...read my message below:

 

RECOVERY

I am amazed myself to realize that I have been doing my diabetes recovery program for 7 days. I am not allowed to consume any product from plants, be it veggies or fruit. So the only consumable food for me is protein. However, this process is also combined with the ability to do intermittent fasting. Prior to fasting I consume 6 eggs and fish. On the second day I ate fish,yes only fish. Then I have to fast and for my case I have to do 24 hours fasting.  Then I started consuming eggs and fast for 24 hours. I break my fast at 12.00 and eat eggs.... There are times when I add Kefir Milk and advocado... but that happened only once. Today... I dont even feel hungry...despite the facts that I eat only two eggs and a glass of kefir milk. When I say it's all about me, yes....it's my suffering from consuming medications for years, it's my suffering from fasting and consuming  eggs that lately has almost made me throw up. In the end it is also me who benefit from it. I will continue this journey for another 3 weeks.